'Tails'
A vehicle for Occold folk to have their say
or to exchange their thoughts

by Diana Davenport

The small ad: drew me like a magnet. At 50 that was quite ridiculous. Already there were three fostered teenagers in our house, blasting their music, dodging their homework, hiding their secrets… now pushing me to ask about the baby.

Thus the ball started rolling. It rolled remarkably slowly then jerked to a stop as the letter arrived from those in Authority.

Thanks, they wrote, but unfortunately the panel considered I was too old, had enough on my hands, and in any case the child in question would do better with a two-parent family. So, I was women enough to take this knock. Until…

Getting on for a whole year after said knock, Authority enquired whether I might still be interested in ‘the disabled baby’. If so would I be good enough to get in touch, etc: etc:?

Within a few weeks we (the girls and myself) were visiting ‘our baby’ and getting familiar with handling his many ‘special needs’. Time dragged as we waited for the go-ahead. Then the green light shone; collection day was on the cards. Ben, a tiny underweight 16-month-old, rejected solid food, barely made a squeak, ignored his legs and generally found this world of ours a bothersome place. But didn’t he just sleep ? And sleep. And sleep.

Often did I dream I heard his paediatrician, stumped for words, say that there were so many problems that didn’t engage with one another.

Six years were seriously given as this delicate child’s likely life-line.

“Then we’ve jolly well got to love him through,” ordered the toughest of my teenagers, a rough madam with a soft centre who had herself weathered rejection. And we heartily agreed with her. Ben was her boy.

Gradually he managed to reveal his abilities and catch wisdom enough to put aside the impossible. Not once in the twenty years he was a part of our extended family did he complain about his paralysis, his limited diet, his countless medicaments, his differences.

Gentle Ben, very like Kipling’s Kim, was a ’little friend for all the world’. Unknowingly he taught us so much: made us better people.                                 

Diana certainly demonstrates that you are hardly ever too old to foster. For information about fostering in our area, call Social Care Services on 08456 023023 or website: www.suffolkfostering.com    

Then there is Suffolk Childcare info: 0845 60 800 33 & Mobile Text Messaging 07624 80 10 60       

Not forgetting www.suffolk.gov.uk/childcare

Lastly, there’s Diana’s book:

FOSTERING - The Inside View  available at special price £2 from (01379) 678952